I Peter 3:1-7

In counseling I have discovered that there are only two basic problems in marriage. One is the husband and the other is the wife.

Since Peter is addressing "Real People Living in a Real World," then it is not a surprise that Peter addresses the issues of the husband-wife relationship.

As Peter approaches this subject, you will notice that he addresses the wife on the issues she can control and the husband on the issues he can control. Let us learn a couple truths about marriage and life here:

Submission is showing him honor and reverence. This is the case even if a husband is not a Christian. All men want honor and respect.

Submission is not slavery. A man entered the Boston library and asked for the location of the book, Man, the Master of Women. Peering over the top rim of her glasses, the librarian shot back, "Look in fiction."

Men and women are equal, but God has placed the man as the head of the family and the wife should lovingly submit to that God-given position by granting him honor and respect.

If her husband is not a Christian, she must not nag or preach. She must live such a devoted life that her husband will be won "without a word," that is, apart from talking.

But if the outspoken wife rails on her husband’s unspiritual attitudes only increases the disunity between them-and between him and God. Admittingly, it is frustrating for a wife to endure the rebellion of a stubborn man and submit to his desires, but it is important to do so if she wants to turn his heart to the Savior.

Lovingly petition him to attend church with you, but do not pressure him. And do not blackmail him. His acceptance to go to church with you must not be viewed as his acceptance of Christ.

This is not an easy path, but God’s grace is sufficient.

Her behavior must be pure – chaste and her emphasis must be on the inner person, "the hidden man of the heart."

Peter is not forbidding women from the use of jewelry; what he is forbidding is the worldly extremes that men shall call "fashionable." Plaiting the hair by weaving the hair into conspicuous fashions, interweaving gold decorations. And wearing decorative clothes with extravagant extras that call attention to themselves.

Christian women can be attractive without being worldly.

He is not saying it is wrong to wear fine clothing or to look after your hair nicely. He is saying that if you rely upon these things, what a tragic woman you are; and that’s how most of the women around you are.

It is bankruptcy at the heart of the being. Instead, Christian women are meant to be developing your inner self, your character.

True beauty comes from within (vs. 4). He uses Sarah as his example. She was a beautiful woman for several kings tried to take her from Abraham. Yet she was devoted to the Lord and to her husband in the Lord.

Gentle and quiet spirit is an incorruptible ornament, which is very precious in the sight of God.

This word indicates a similar attitude of love and respect on the part of the husband. Mutual submission is a Biblical view of the husband-wife relationship. Marriage is a two-way street.

There is to be a growing knowledge of the Lord and their wife.

This means that husbands are to live with their wives in an understanding way. This calls for thoughtfulness, tenderness, and thoroughness on the part of the husband.

Understand their need for the husband to be the spiritual leader of the home. Understand for their need for there to be sexual purity in the bed.

She is the weaker vessel. This weakness has no reference to the moral or intellectual qualities of the woman but rather to her physical makeup. The husband’s attitude should include loving consideration of the wife, in view of the fact that she is the more delicate instrument.

"Giving honor" is the word for "to assign to." A man must study his wife’s needs and then assign to her everything that will make her healthy, happy and honored in the home.

Verse 7 says there are "heirs together." They are to be together which is second only to the unity which exists in heaven.

1. Prayers are heard.

Prayers are hindered if there is not a proper relationship between the wife and husband.

2. And they experience the grace of life together.

The reference here is not "everlasting life" but instead of the life here that the husband and wife share together.

Instead, they share the blessings of parenthood plus the many other manifold blessings of marriage. There is nothing sweeter this side of heaven than a godly marriage.